


A Bloody Nose for a Kiss

by byerasure



Category: South Park
Genre: 1600 words' worth of Kenny's monologue, Bully/bullying, Crush, Fist Fights, M/M, Swearing, idk how to tag this, kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-03
Updated: 2017-04-03
Packaged: 2018-10-14 12:27:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10536459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/byerasure/pseuds/byerasure
Summary: Have you ever done something stupid to impress a crush? An innocent, white lie about going to the gym every day, playing the guitar like a pro, or faking a dope ass British accent? Most people wouldn't go too overboard, but, well... I did. Most people don't get into a fight to protect their crush's pride either, but...I'm not most people.





	

**Author's Note:**

> What do you do when you have 30 other oneshot ideas, and two long ass fics to work on?
> 
> You procrastinate and write a totally unplanned oneshot that doesn't even make sense.... .-.  
> .  
> .  
> .
> 
> Anyways, this is the first one I wrote in first person, which was very weird and Kenny might (very much probably) be a little (lot) out of character, sorry about that.   
> I also totally didn't plan this out properly so if something doesn't make sense or this whole thing is weird - I apologize.   
> Nonetheless, kudos/comments are always appreciated, it lets me know that my writing is not (too) cringy
> 
> Yours truly,  
> Yami~ <3

Have you ever done something stupid to impress a crush? An innocent, white lie about going to the gym every day, playing the guitar like a pro, or faking a dope ass British accent? Most people wouldn't go too overboard, but, well... I did. Most people don't get into a fight to protect their crush's pride either, but...I'm not most people. I'm also not the smartest when it comes to dealing with feelings, or being called a faggot, and other extensive synonyms. I know, I'm supposed to just ignore the bullies and be the "mature" one like Stan always says, but then again, he's the one to sing about "kicking bullying's ass" so what now?! No one can blame me for getting confused! 

...okay, I didn't really get confused - I was completely aware of what I was doing (except for that part when I totally blacked out and beat Scott Tenorman into bloody bits) but whatever. 

Anyway, I'm sure you're eager to hear about how I got into this situation of sitting on this uncomfortable as hell bench right next to the principal's door, and waiting for him to call for me, in theory to talk about what just happened, but possibly to expel me for sending that bitch to hospital. It's unfair, really. Nobody ever considers _why_ I did it - he's in hospital, so obviously he was the innocent one, the one who deserves to be pat on the back, and be given way more stupid gifts than a person will ever need, for standing up to _such_ a bully. Please note the sarcasm. 

But I'm getting off track - the _ominous fight_ happened after the third, or fourth period, I don't know and I don't care. All I know is that it was math; my favorite class. Now, before you freak out about who in their right mind would have mathematics as their favorite subject, let me explain. 

Kyle is in the same class. 

I know right?! How can we be put in the exact same class when, lets be real - Kyle is super fucking smart? Well, apparently, no matter how good you are at chemistry, or how much you know about some ancient war, algebra can still fuck you over.   
I'm thankful as shit though: due to the lack of Kyle's ability to do more than add two numbers, I get to stare at him for an entire period without any disturbances, which is, if you ask me, pretty damn sweet. If there's one thing more enjoyable than the feeling I get from successfully solving a problem, it's definitely witnessing the look of annoyance grow larger on Kyle's cute little face as he battles with the same problem I solved five minutes ago. 

Of course, at the end of class, he was fucking done with math, but this was just another reason for me to make a move, and embrace him in a calming hug, something I only rarely get to do, so obviously I took the chance to be close to him. But no, freaking Scott Tenorman had to come and ruin my bliss! 

I'm not the type to get offended by meaningless words coming from the last person I care about on Earth, but when those words are directed at someone important to me, who's not only a crush, but a friend, I kinda lose control.   
I have no idea if it was because of the things that asshat was saying, or the hurt expression on Kyle's sweetly freckled face, but the next thing I knew was that I was on top of Scott, raging with anger, hitting and punching whichever part of him I managed to lay my hands on. 

His obnoxious laughter died off, the hateful smirk washed off of his lips by the pool of blood flowing from his nose as the redness smeared all over my fingers and his chin. 

I don't remember much, probably because I was so fucking angry I didn't know what I was doing, though I'm sure I gave him a black eye, and might've even sent him unconscious.   
He did deliver some sick punches too, because even though I was coming out as the winner by the element of surprise, he wasn't giving up so easily either, and hit me a couple of times as well. 

Some random dude pulled me off him, which I'm actually thankful for - I would've kept beating his body if I wasn't stopped.   
Scott was carried away by a few of his "friends" to the nurse, and later was taken to hospital as I heard from Butters about 15 minutes ago.   
Kyle disappeared and hasn't showed up since, which, if I'm being honest, is lowkey hurting my ego, just a bit. Like, seriously? I'm here, sacrificing my hot bod to protect his pride, to no one, but a school bully, and Ky doesn't even bat an eye! 

No "thanks, Kenny, you're a hero! A very sexy one", or "you saved my reputation, lemme give you a BJ" - not even a seductive wink, a flirtatious pat on the back, or worriedly gazing into each other's eyes, like in a cheesy superhero movie, nothing!  
What does a person gotta do to win over a Broflovski's heart?! 

 

Although, now that I think about it, maybe this wasn't the best way to express my feelings. I totally could've bought him a bouquet of flowers and shoved it into his face after classes, or thrown a handful of condoms at him while staring at him provocatively, or just flat out kissed him out of the blue. Not sure which one he would've hated the least - he's not a romantic type of guy, and he probably would've felt uncomfortable in either of these situations, especially if I threw condoms at him. Well, at least I could've had a good laugh before getting rejected, but now the only thing I have is regret for losing my temper like that. 

It was really dumb, actually. I don't know why it affected me so much, I should've already been used to these kinds of words coming from Cartman, ever since he figured out that I had a crush on Kyle.   
Maybe it's because he's our friend or what, and we learned to ignore all the bullshit he says, but Scott was different. He meant everything he said, and it wasn't just to annoy Kyle or prove he's better than us, like the fatass always does. No, it was pure hatred directed at him, and I hope you understand why I did what I did. 

Sigh. 

This is pointless. How long have I been sitting here? I could just go home, and get my mind off of everything with the help of those trusty porn mags under the bed. Why do I even own those still, when there's millions of videos on the internet waiting for me to find them?   
Dude, we're so evolved; the ultimate satisfaction is only a few clicks away, and the possibilities are endless. Humanity is at its peak, we achieved everything we had to offer. What a time to be alive -

"Kenny!" Oh. The voice I've been aching to hear for so long has finally spoken and reached me like the savior of my mistakes and doom, is it an angel from heaven? A cute, redhead angel you can't get enough of seeing. 

"Huh? Are you an angel? Your shining beauty is blinding me!" I exclaimed dramatically while covering my eyes with my hand. 

"Kenny, what the fuck?" he yelled, but it sounded like silvery, smooth signing to my ears, as he smacked my wrist away. "Did you get a concussion too?" 

"I dunno" a shrug, then moving to the side of the bench, so Ky could sit down too. 

"You don't know? Haven't you gone to the nurse?"

"Nah"

"What do you mean nah! I was so worried, I waited for you at the nurse for twenty minutes but you never showed up!" pain spread throughout my arm after he punched it forcefully, out of anger and nervousness. 

"Ow! I'm sorry for making you worry, Ky" my confidence was gone, the words came out as quiet, apologetic mumbles. 

"Why did you do that?"

"You looked so hurt..." he turned to me, those green eyes, full of wonder, scanned me, hoping to find answers in the depths of my expressions. 

"I can stand up to myself, you know"

"I never questioned that" long, delicate moments of silence, of getting lost in each other's eyes ended the conversation, but not for long. 

"You look like shit" he remarked, fingers lifting and brushing along my nose, lips, and chin, only to be pulled back, covered in thick, deep shades of red. Strange, I didn't even feel the ghostly fists of Scott still lingering over every area of my body he managed to hit, until Kyle touched my skin, as carefully as he could, yet where his knuckle met my face, it caused every single nerve to burst into tingly fireworks of ache.   
Busted lips curved into a smile, bodies inching closer, I spoke, almost in a whisper, too afraid to crack the glass-like moment, and shatter everything we've gone through since I met him all those years ago, when we were too small children to comprehend the friendship and whatnot forming between us. 

"But you still like me"

"Unfortunately, after getting your ass beaten just for me, I have no other choice" he nudged my shoulder jokingly. 

"What do you say, a bloody nose for a kiss?" He shook his head, while giggling quietly, then leaned forward, until our noses met. 

"Deal." 

 

Let me tell you, this isn't how I imagined my first kiss with Kyle. Instead of a hot make out session, or a long kiss with lots of tongue, all I got was a peck on the lips that hurt like a bitch, and ended two seconds later, thanks to the principal practically knocking down to door and ordering me to go in immediately, almost flaming with rage. 

It wasn't perfect, nor was it good in the first place. I could say something gay and soppy, like "but to me, it was the best kiss ever", but...really, it sucked. 

Thank god Kyle promised to try it again later.


End file.
